She Was A Warm Summer's Day
by feels-like-snow-in-september-x
Summary: "She was a warm summer's day. She was someone's favorite song. She was everything good and she had to be the most beautiful person I've ever met. Inside and out. She was worthy of one more day on this earth. Hell, she was worthy of another lifetime. Clare Edwards is someone who deserves to be remembered and I'm determined to never forget her." Rated M: Suicide, Self-harm, Drugs.


**Ok, so this is my first story on this account. Yes, I've had other accounts on this website, but of course me being me, I was stupid and forgot my password to both accounts. But I'm back! :D  
And hopefully, for good. I think I might just write down my password for this account haha. But erm, this was something that just randomly popped into my head. It's sort of, really and totally random and kinda depressing.. **

**Clare's definitely OC in this story. Like majorly. And I guess some of the other characters are, too. I don't know. However you wanna look at it haha. But enjoy and leave some reviews for me guys and let me know what you think! (:**

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"And today, if she was here with us right now, I think she'd be happy. Happy that we're remembering her. She deserves it. She was an amazing girl. Always so kind and sweet, no matter who you may have been, she always managed to find the good in you. That was one of her best qualities. She had a heart. A beautiful, warm, open heart. Everything about her, was wonderful and just overall lovely. I don't know why she found the need to take her own life away." Helen's voice cracked the closer she got to finishing. The tears were falling from her eyes, making her orbs even bluer than usual.

No one thought they'd be sitting here today in these chairs, because of Clare Diana Edwards. And especially, not for these reasons.

But there were a select few, who had known the truth. About what was really wrong with Clare. What really drove her to do what she did. These were the few people who got their goodbyes, almost a week prior to this very service.

_One Week Earlier..._

**|| Eli ||**

Eli sat motionless on his bed. He wasn't crying. He wasn't laughing. He wasn't sad. He wasn't angry. He sure as hell, wasn't happy, though. He was just... _numb_. So fucking numb.

He hit play again, watching the video for maybe the 7th time, still trying to process what he was seeing right in front of his very eyes. It was Clare. She was sitting at her computer desk recording a video. Specifically for Eli. Tears were streaming down her face and her eyes were extremely bloodshot. Her ocean colored orbs were even bluer from crying continuously before said video was even recorded.

"_Well, I don't exactly know how to start this off. I just thought you of all people deserved a proper goodbye. Eli... I love you. I love you so much and I-_" She pauses and sucks in a deep breath. Her head falls into her hands, and her body begins to shake and tremble as she lets out a sob, "_Fuck. I'm s-sorry. I just.. I mean, imagine if I did this in person?_" She giggles slightly, obviously trying to make some sort of joke, but Eli wasn't laughing.

"_I would barely get one word out and if I had even tried to do this in person, you'd make sure it wouldn't happen. I just want __you to know though, that by the time you watch this, I'll be gone. And I'm sorry. I'm so sorry that I had to go this way, but I can't do this anymore. You of all people, understand why I did it. I want you to know that it isn't your fault. If anything you were the one thing keeping me alive most. You motivated me to get up every day and come to school and stay alive and not fucking slit my wrists._" Eli winces at her harsh choice of words. It's the 7th time watching the video and every single time, he winces at that part. He cringes and winces and just wants to fall off the face of the earth. The aching in his chest is so unbearable he doesn't know for sure whether he's having a heart attack or not. But he feels so distraught. Like the feeling that over takes your body when you can't seem to get something right and you stress over it. That feeling. Yeah, he's getting that very feeling. His body feels as if it's going to collapse and he just wants to get up and walk around, but yet at the same time he wants to lay down and cry forever under his comforter. He's not entirely sure exactly what this feeling is, but he doesn't like it. It makes his breathing irregular and he doesn't like that.

"_I just.. I couldn't keep hold of that motivation anymore. You tried to save me, Eli. You really did, and I know that and that's why I don't want you to blame yourself. I really don't want that. Because you shouldn't feel that way. I'm just.. I just- I wanted to tell you that.. so uh, so you didn't feel that way, a-alright?_" Her hands are trembling as they lace together in front of the camera. He can tell she was scared to do what she did. He could read it all over her face. But he knew she was still going to do it. That she was determined, because once Clare Edwards makes a decision and sets her mind on something, she makes sure it gets done no matter what. That was always one of his favorite qualities in her, but right now, he didn't really like it so much.

"_I just.. I really want you to look back and remember me as the one girl you really truly loved. I want you to smile when you remember me. Not cry. Or be sad. Or mad. I want you to smile. Or laugh. Or just get this good feeling inside your tummy. Like this feeling I always get when I think of you. I love you, Eli. So much, and I want you to know that what we have.. well, had.. was more than just a romance. It was a bond. An eternal bond. You were so much more than just a boyfriend to me. You were a best friend. And that was more than I could have asked for. I love you. And I don't care how many times I've said it already, I love you, I love you, I love you. Fucking damn it, you're the hardest yet. This video was the hardest to make. It was so fucking hard. I cried the most during this one video. Just.. remember me and when you do, smile for me, because I'll be smiling down on you. I love you. Goodbye, Eli._"

His hands start to shake as the video ends and Clare blows a single kiss toward the camera as more tears spill out from her eyes.

Clare was gone.

Eli's world was over.

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**Yes, I know that it's short. But that's what it's going to be like. The chapter will usually start with someone speaking about Clare at the memorial and then going back to a week earlier to when she sent the videos to everyone. Eli was first. I'm not too sure who will be second. Just wait and see, I guess (;  
Reviews? I think yes! :3**


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